You Art What You Eat

Travel Tidbits #3: Death By Meat: A ridiculously unhealthy and painful way to renounce your vegetarianism.

2011-02-01T23:20:00.013-05:00

I have dabbled in a variety of dietary life-style choices. In my history of food consumption, my timeline looks like this:

So although I fully support vegetarianism, I still haven't quite figured out how to incorporate it into my daily life without feeling some effects. During college, I embraced it. Around the time I graduated, I incorporated a small amount of fish or chicken into my diet on those days that I just couldn't feel full, or when I was feeling insanely tired. So, when I first obtained this job, I was required to get a few vaccines. I was beginning to think that feeling sleepy about 80% of the day was normal (as it had been for the past few years) when the doctor asked me about my toes. "Have they always been purple?" "Well, yeah, isn't that normal?". Apparently not. Apparently a severe iron deficiency will do that to you, among other things.

Back in August I had a real opportunity to break back into eating red meat (although I have still sworn off pork and refuse to eat it for many ethical, health, and moral reasons unless it's to sample a small bit of food couture). A colleague and I visited an Argentinian steakhouse soon after the new information I had received, and we decided to "go all out". A choice on their menu was the "typical meat platter to share" which we decided upon. The menu made it sound like a nice assortment of not-your-everyday meats on a reasonably-sized plate; something that an average couple of customers could easily finish off while enjoying the variety and flavors of Argentina...

...so they brought this.

Meat Death

This beautiful assortment was a GIGANTIC collection of (what they say) included skirt steak, blood sausage, sweetbreads, chorizo, kidney, milk tripe, and spiked cholesterol levels, enough for the whole restaurant or even a small village.

I forwent the chorizo, I did decide to try all the things I had never tasted before: blood sausage, milk tripe, sweet breads, and kidneys. Vanquishing this bad boy was an adventure. The blood sausage was surprisingly delicious and delicate, rich and dark, and NO, I do not want to know how it's made. The milk tripe was basically a long, curly fried tube that was very tough and difficult to down. It reminded me of a never-ending, uncut robe of calamari but much chewier. The skirt steak was your typical steak, with a great smokey flavor and very tender. The sweetbreads were interesting. Again, I had never had them before so a name like "sweetbreads" can be very misleading. I suppose I expected a subtly sweet (duh), very tender cut of meat with a smooth consistency. While the flavor was nice and indeed mild, it felt like biting into a large chunk of bacon fat breaded and fried with pockets of salmon fat hidden throughout. I'm not sure if I ever even tried the kidneys. Just look at the picture and see if you can figure that mess out.

By the end of the night, I felt like a greasy, weighed-down glutton who had been trapped inside a fried cow and ate her way out. So, for the next 2 weeks, I did not eat meat. I was completely disgusted by meat. My stomach punished me for days. In fact, since this endeavor, I find that if there is a decent selection of vegetarian options where I am at, I gravitate towards that.

But no matter what, I still can't deny the pure bliss of a great med rare filet mignon, and a velvety glass of red to go with it.

Travel Tidbits #2: Pimpin' ain't easy but apparently it sure is sweet.

2011-02-01T22:41:00.004-05:00

Traffic. Wilmington, DE.

Apparently my cousin has seen the Frosted Flakes version of this car. Her assumed pimp tagline: "Hoes - They're grrrrrreat!".

Travel Tidbits #1: Never underestimate the extent to which airport security will search you.

2011-02-01T22:36:00.004-05:00

Security line. Orlando, FL.

I knew the new regulations were harsh but come on ladies, we should at least be able to keep our panties on...

Blog Re-Vamp

2011-02-01T22:18:00.002-05:00

Not only will the occasional food review be posted now, but tips on traveling as well. Please enjoy my newfound entertainment by travel and laziness towards food. Hopefully weight loss will ensue.

Holiday Yummies & Sick Tummies

2010-11-30T21:00:00.006-05:00

Fortunately for you, reader, I don't feel like writing much right now... so here is a little photo synopsis of this past Thanksgiving.

"Dried apricot halves with lemon-thyme goat cheese, candied walnuts, and honey garnish"

This is a little recipe I borrowed and altered slightly from a book entitled "Wine & Cheese". I was also endulging in a little too much wine and not enough cheese at the time so I don't remember the author or if that was even the specific title, but it sums up pretty much everything in there that I saw/read/drooled over. These little noms are simple and quick; the only time-consuming efforts here are the tedious tasks of halving the apricots and donning every one with its specific decorations. I also candied and spiced the walnuts myself but apparently you can just buy the damn things. I used turkish apricots, plain ole goat cheese bought from Whole Foods which I then whipped with a little milk and some lemon-thyme from my herb garden (which is somehow thriving in the cold weather), and sauteed the walnuts in sugar, a dash of cayenne pepper, pumpkin spice and a little salt until they were caramalized. Drizzle with honey and you're done.

"Better Than Sex Cake"

A recipe straight from Grundy, VA. 'Nuff said.

"First-time Flan"

A definite win!

And because God answered my prayers to not gain weight over this holiday weekend, I was able to enjoy a Norovirus-style stomach flu the day after Thanksgiving, and watch all of these lovely treats come right back up.

RESTAURANT REVIEW: Union Grill, Pittsburgh, PA

2010-08-20T07:26:00.005-04:00

Good lord, I've been at this damn airport since 6:30 AM and I am SO ready to get back home. I've been in beautiful Pittsburgh, PA this week (that picture hardly does it justice, but it's all I could get out of my hotel room) which is known as the city of bridges. This is apparently because there are a TON of them around. There's also a lot of interesting things to do (like go to the zoo, or visit museums), none of which I had time for due to job stuffs but eh, whatever. I also don't feel like typing much do to the fact I'm still sleep-deprived and in what appears to be a travel coma. FYI the architecture around Carnegie Mellon reminded me of London, and you can imagine just how high-pitched my gleeful squeels were when we drove by a branch of Le Cordon Bleu.

As for the food, well, there were 2 places we went that were amazing: Zarra's, and Union Grill. Zarra's was a cute little family-owned Italian/Greek restaurant across the street from our hotel. I had a chicken dish that was nothing spectacular, but their homemade salad dressing was to die for (balsamic vinegarette) and when the mother of the operation "botched" her homemade cheesecake (forgot eggs), we were privy to a taste. It was warm, fresh, right out of the oven homemade cheesecake and it was probably the most delicious thing I've ever put in my mouth. Although its structure was lacking because of its missing ingredient, the flavor was unaffected. Tangy, sweet, savory, with a moist graham crust - I had to stop myself 3 bites in because it was almost too sinful. After that, I took a ride in the owner's sports car in exchange for one of my drawings. I'd say that was a good deal.

Now, Union Grill, an "all American food" place which seems to be populated with mostly tatooed students, was impressionable. After perusing the menu I was inclined to ask our server, "So, this Devonshire Sandwich - what is it?", as it was advertised in the menu as world-famous, has appeared on TV, etc. The server told us it is described as a sandwich, however, it's basically turkey on some bread slathered in their famous cheese sauce. Server's words: "If it wasn't for the fact that it's probably about 3000 calories I'd probably eat it more often." Because I wanted to go a healthier route, I opted for a turkey burger which was tasty but rather dry, and for some reason tasted a little like ham (?). I ordered a baked sweet potato and a side of that cheese sauce, because I couldn't NOT try it!

The cheese sauce came, and yeah, it was amazing. It was a white sauce with a few herbs and chunks of fresh cheese mixed in. Imagine that delicious white cheese dip that you find at Mexican restaurants. Now double the consistancy and add melted chunks of cheese. Oh yeah. What originated as a quest for delicious healthy food ended up with me slathering my burger with it and then obtaining ultimate Fatty status and dipping my sweet potato in it, which was rather good.

Now since I didn't snap a shot, I've taken this one from www.roadfood.com. This is a picture of the actual Turkey Devonshire. After eating this, you probably wouldn't poop for about a week or two:

The "Anti-PMS" Cake

2010-07-13T00:30:00.005-04:00

Men, relinquish yourselves from that week of fire and brimstone and suffer the lashings of the crimson tide no more... for tonight, we dine in chocolate heaven!

(Recipe from Recipe Zaar, by Lennie):

CHOCOLATE MASCARPONE BROWNIES

Ingredients
BROWNIES
1 cup unsalted butter
3 ounces best-quality semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup mascarpone cheese, softened
3 large eggs, at room-temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt

GANACHE
6 ounces best-quality semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
6 tablespoons whipping cream
3 tablespoons unsalted butter

Directions
1) Preheat oven to 325°F; have ready a buttered 8-inch square glass cake pan (we sprayed with pam instead of buttering it).
2) First, prepare the brownies.
3) In a small saucepan, melt the butter and bring it to just below a boil; have the chopped chocolate in a mixing bowl--pour the hot butter over the chocolate and let stand for 30 seconds.
4) Stir until chocolate is completely melted.
5) Sift in the sugar and cocoa powder (I didn't sift, I just slowly mixed it in.)
6) With a wooden spoon, beat in the mascarpone, eggs (30 minutes on the counter brings them to room temperature) and vanilla, mixing until smooth.
7) Gently fold the flour and salt into the batter.
8) Pour batter into prepared pan and spread evenly (Lennie mentions, "This is important since, if the batter isn't spread evenly, it won't bake evenly.")
9) Place into preheated oven and bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean (45 minutes did it for me).
10) Place pan on a cooling rack and let brownies cool for 10-15 minutes, while you now make the ganache.
11) Place chopped chocolate in a mixing bowl; in a small saucepan, bring the cream and the butter to just below the boiling point, over medium heat.
12) Pour this hot cream-butter mixture over the chocolate and let stand for 30 seconds, then stir until smooth; ganache is now ready to use and can be spread over the brownies.
13) Should you wish to wait a bit, make sure the ganache is warm when you spread over the brownies, as it does firm up which makes spreading hard to do.
14) Don't cut into the brownies until ganache has firmed up; I find it best to put the brownies into the fridge to speed this along; once the ganache is firm the brownies do not need to be kept in the fridge, though.

---

Now, I have to say, these are pretty tasty. They're rich yet light, with a perfect sugar balance (not too sweet, just sweet enough) and manage to pull off that fudge-like consistency with a more cake-like structure. That being said, they weren't brownies so much as a fudge cake. The flavor was a little bitter, but that's because there's enough chocolate packed into these puppies that you'll be horny for 2 weeks and have a sugar-rush strong enough to keep you tweaking worse than that crackie who lives in the ally. My only true complaint is that for what I paid for the mascarpone cheese, I expected it to be a little more present in the end flavor. I've never used mascarpone before, and if you've never tried it you should. It's kind of like a very mild, delicately sweet cream with a cream cheese consistency. Anyways, I suppose it added to the texture and maybe very slightly to the flavor, however it's an expensive ingredient and I felt that it was out of the spotlight. I'm sure the mascarpone could very easily have been replaced with something else and turned out better, because the biggest disappointment in the cake's flavor was the absence of that beautiful balance of sweet and salty. A better cheese for the job would have filled that necessity.

CONS: Slightly bitter, not necessarily worth the price of the ingredients, lacking in mascarpone as the feature flavor

PROS: Great for natural aphrodisiacal highs, hormonal woman

FOOD WIN: Marmot Eating Biscuit

2010-07-09T15:35:00.001-04:00

Reminds me of this guy I dated...

Link of the Day

2010-07-08T17:15:00.004-04:00

In light of my recent barbecue post, here's a link to a great site by a master of BBQ so that you may enjoy how truely delicious it can be. I've been perusing his blog for a while and even if you're not out back with something on the grill, his photos will definitely get your mouth watering.

Brian Pearcy's BBQ Blog

FOOD REVIEW: Grandpa Eddie's Alabama Ribs & BBQ, Richmond, VA

2010-07-07T19:17:00.014-04:00

I've had the pleasure of meeting the owner of Grandpa Eddie's Alabama Ribs & BBQ, Carey Friedman, a couple of times, and he's a genuinely good guy - which makes it kind of difficult to really speak my mind about his food. However, this is food journalism, and I've never been one to filter my mouth on anything, so here it goes.

I dined at Gpa Eddie's a few months ago and I remember the food being dynamite. I was also pretty shitfaced and shoveling things in my mouth faster than Monica Lewinsky in a room full of politicians (heyooo!). I remember the atmosphere was predominantly family-oriented and the band that night played an excellent cover of Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" (which I have an extreme affinity for). However, when I ordered some to-go the other day for my family's dinner I was curious as to how my fellow food-goers felt about the place and perused some online reviews while waiting. I was shocked to read a bunch of (what I thought at the time) bullshit complaints and basically a lot of one-starred ratings where I was sure, as I assume all the time, people were just being moronic.

Long story short, I ordered a half-pound of pork barbecue, half-pound of beef brisket, and a half-pound of chicken barbecue, with sides of baked beans, cornbread and coleslaw. This was accompanied with a side of their barbecue sauce.

Now, I don't eat red meat, however I will try it for the sake of trying things once... and doing a food review. Lets start with the beef brisket.

All I can say is: Meh. It was unceremoniously bunched up in a styrofoam box with a side of Gpa Eddie's "barbecue" sauce which, I must say, tasted like very spicy marinara sauce. It was also relatively dry. As far as the chicken barbecue goes, it was more like cubed bits of the remainder parts of the chicken, and was swimming in grease. The flavor was unappealing; it was overpowering, soaked in vinegar, salty, too spicy and just all around inedible. I actually stopped eating my sandwich about 2 bites in and I never do that.

The pulled pork was okay in that it wasn't as overbearingly spicy or salty as the rest of the meat, AND it was actually pulled, however this wasn't something I'd call home about. To top it off, the coleslaw was grey. Yeah, grey. Taste-wise it was pretty sweet and was the only thing you could put in your mouth to ease the backfire of what must have been that barbecue's "flavor". As far as the corn muffins go, they were little mini ones that tasted like they had either been sitting out far too long or had just been bought from Food Lion... days ago.

I think the worst was the beans. As soon as I spooned a bite into my mouth I had the distinct taste of metal on my palate. Optimistically, I thought maybe it was my spoon, so I switched utensils. Still metallic. I ate it with bread. Guess what - still metallic.

Overall, everything was bad enough that I will never order from there again. I thought maybe I was getting a sufficient amount of food for the grand total of $27.00, especially since the bartender threw in the cornbread for free, but now that I'm looking at everything I feel like I wasted my money. Seriously.

Now, in order to be a truly understanding and open-minded foodie, I believe one should have perspective on the foods they are consuming in order to properly form an opinion. So, I did a little research. I thought, "Hey, maybe since this is Alabama barbecue I'm just being particular and should appreciate the style that it's made in. Maybe in Alabama, their beans are made from nickel and their chicken is soaked in habaneros." After 30 minutes of staggering research, here's what was concluded:

In the south, different regions are known for their different flavors of barbecue. Barbecue originated in the US on the east coast and as its popularity migrated West, the style of preparation was altered according to the availability of ingredients. In brief:

North Carolina: peppery and vinegar-based (popular with hush puppies, a possible food migrant from the coast)
Western North Carolina: rich, still maintaining the vinegar-base and laden with tomatoes (eaten with bread and Brunswick stew)
South Carolina and Georgia: doused in a yellow mustard-based sauce (in much of South Carolina, barbecue is served alongside light bread, coleslaw, and "hash" with rice... hash is made of stewed organ meats, yum)
Tennessee: sweeter, tomato-based and seasoned with molasses
Arkansas: varying types because it's a border state
Alabama: tomato-based, spicier than Tennessee although still maintaining sweetness (variations include a "white sauce" which is mayonnaise-based, barbecue cooked with pecans, and barbecue simmered in apple cider)

However, please note, much variation does exist within these regions due to establishments' and families' alterations over time.

So in conclusion, I still did not feel like Gpa's matched up with what I would define as "good barbecue". It's almost as if it was trying to be a North Carolinian barbecue with the spice of Alabama, but failed and just had too much going on. I've heard the wings there are alright but I'd just rather go to Bdub's or Quaker Steak and Lube for some guaranteed deliciousness.

CONS: Unsatisfactory, repugnant flavors, poor food quality
PROS: It'll get your bowels moving.

FOOD FAIL: People With Bizarre Eating Habits

2010-06-28T12:48:00.001-04:00

I highly suggest NOT picking up any of these consuming habits.

RESTAURANT REVIEW: The Boathouse at Rocketts Landing, Richmond, VA

2010-06-28T10:52:00.007-04:00

So my friend Trevor and I randomly decided to go all out last night, and I was lucky enough to be taken to the very chic, very aesthetically appealing Boathouse Restaurant at Rocketts Landing. It's an interesting modern-structured building with lots of windows, open atmosphere, and beautiful light. It's also only one of two restaurants in Richmond (or so Trevor tells me) that actually sits on the water, which makes for literally the most impressive views in Richmond you can find. This is the view that can be seen from most seats in the restaurant (we took the photo off the deck):

We called ahead and they told us it would be a 45 minute wait. When we arrived we didn't mind sitting out on the deck with a couple beers and watching the river and sunset. In the meantime, we ordered their "seared Ahi Tuna, coated in black sesame seeds, with wasabi cream and sweet soy" ($13) and what I could only guess was a drizzle of Sriracha (the most amazing hot sauce in the world). I was surprised at how flavorful the tuna was, great portion cuts, and the black sesames gave a really divine crunch to each bite. The soy sauce was subtle and the wasabi heat was not overpowering. Overall it was a nice simple balance of flavor and a fresh opening act for the night.

Once we were sat, we decided on ordering the fried oysters, which were pretty much your average run of the mill fried oysters with tartar and cocktail sauce (tasty but boring). For the main entree, I decided on "duck breast and leg confit: seared duck breast with sun dried wild cherry sauce, on a bed of spicy cabbage, goat cheese mashed" ($20) . This was absolutely heavenly, and as Trevor would say, it "danced across his palate in a voluptuous way". The duck breast was served sliced and perfectly cooked (med/med rare) and had just the right amount of trim fat. Usually duck is ruined by how fatty it can be, but the texture was great. The cherry sauce was merlot-colored, and a balance between a glaze and jus consistency. I seriously would have licked it off my plate if that had been deemed socially acceptable. Every piece of food on the dish complimented the one next to it. The cabbage (which wasn't spicy, but tasted more like it had been sauteed in balsamic vinegar) was just sweet enough to blend with the tangy bite of the goat cheese (which is served warm on top of the mashed potatoes and makes for some fun trying to mix it in together). I repeatedly took a slice of the duck, swirled it in the cherry sauce, speared some cabbage and then coated it in the potatoes and goat cheese for each bite after savory bite. I ordered a subtle, smooth merlot with this. It didn't overpower the food but instead completed it for an exciting and satisfying layering of flavors.

Trevor ordered "white crab stuffed shrimp: jumbo shrimp stuffed with local crab meat on a bed of fried spinach, Arborio rice pilaf ($20)". The shrimp and crab were decent; although I found it to be a little dry, the dish was still flavorful. The star of the plate was definitely the arborio rice. It was cooked perfectly: moist enough with a great texture. Integrated with the spinach and rice, the shrimp and crab found their luster.

The picture we took doesn't do the food justice, but you get the idea.

Dessert was the Boathouse's crème brulée. I've never had it before, so I don't really have any comparison to go off of, however I do know that it was an addicting combination of light and rich flavors. Creamy, sweet, but not overbearing. It definitely had me trying to spoon fight Trevor. However, I let him have the last bite considering I probably commandeered most of it anyway.

Overall, it was one of the best dinner experiences I've ever had. I'll definitely be going back again.

PROS: great, flavorful food with a wide variety (seafood, pizza, traditional and non-traditional appetizers and entrees), impressive wine selection, beautiful atmosphere especially at sunset

CONS: somewhat pricey, a slow wait (however you shouldn't be in a rush there anyway, it's serene)

LOOSE RECIPE: The Redneck Vodka Sauce

2010-05-23T11:19:00.007-04:00

So I'm here, "home", in good 'ole southwest Virginia, right smack in between some of these blue ridge mountains and at my cousin's house right on the river. I forgot how much I love it down here; the serenity and beauty of nature really does just engulf you and brings out the true redneck inside. One who might typically go for wine and cheese will be craving beer and chips. It's okay. It's part of the surroundings. I think right now my mom is on the "mule" (basically a go-cart with a better motor) and riding with my aunt down to the river with the dog. Casey, my cousin, is lying on the couch. We're here for her baby shower. I'm not very fond of babies/baby decorations/baby talk, anything to do with babies, really, but this crowd isn't your typical baby-obsessed gaggle of cooing and ooing women. They're just like, "Shit, it's another person on the way, grab some more moonshine and cigs!".

Well, my mother and I arrived last night and my aunt's boyfriend, who usually does the cooking, was getting a little sauced. Last time we were here, Randy and I had cooked together and made a pretty great culinary team, so I just decided to pick up where he left off and see if I could recreate this beautiful vodka sauce I had made last time. The secret? Anchovy oil. Another secret? Cook when you're drunk.

We don't really go with measurements around here, so ya'll are just gonna have to go with the flow and remember that great cooking isn't necessarily about using the correct measurements (we're not baking here, dammit)! It's about tasting it, feeling it, and knowing what you want. It's also about using really good tomatoes and fresh ingredients. So forgive the loose instruction, I'm estimating as close as possible.

RANDY'S MARINARA BASE:
- enough extra virgin olive oil to coat the base of the pot, maybe a little more
- chopped fresh garlic cloves (we use a bunch, like a whole bulb)
- a handful of fresh basil leaves, chopped
- a few chopped anchovies, and oil from the tin
- 2 fresh tomatoes, diced
- 2 tbsp tomato paste (for thickening purposes)
- 3/4 large can "Furmano's Italian Style Diced Tomatoes", drained (the best canned tomatoes you can get)
- 1 large can "Furamano's Plum Tomatoes", drained
- diced onion, as little or as much as you want, we used half a large vidalia onion
- salt, pepper, oregano, a little crushed red pepper

** It is possible to use red wine in this recipe ONLY if it will be a marinara sauce. I do not suggest making a marinara base with red wine then adding vodka later, because I had a bad experience with that, and it wasn't fun, and you too will regret it.

So, pick a decent size pot, put it on medium heat. Add olive oil, like I said, enough to coat the entire base. Let it get hot (but not sputtering), add garlic and onion. Allow them to get a little brown to release flavor, make sure to stir a bit so they cook evenly. Add a little salt to them. Add fresh tomatoes, Furmano's tomatoes, tomato paste, anchovies and oil from the tin. Stir gently, let simmer (**if you are just doing marinara, now would be when you would add about half a cup of red wine, or hell, be liberal, put a whole cup if you're ballsy). DO NOT LET SAUCE BURN. It ruins the flavor, so it is important to be watchful and constantly stirring every few minutes. If you don't care, whatever, but I'm picky about my marinara sauce, dammit. Once the sauce has had a good ten minutes to simmer, add the basil leaves and salt, pepper, oregano, crushed red pepper to taste. Let set for another 10 minutes to an hour on low heat, depending on how much time you have. You don't need to stir for the whole hour.

Now we can get a little kinky.

LAUREN'S VODKA SAUCE ADDITIONS
- half & half (DO NOT use the fat free kind... it's made of skim milk and corn syrup which is disgusting and does nothing for the flavor or color because eventually it simply clusters into tiny balls and does not fuse with the ingredients properly - you must use something with a fatty content or if you're desperate and there just ain't nothin' in the fridge then grab some skim milk or forget it.)
- 3/4 - 1 cup fresh grated parmesan cheese
- half cup vodka (this time we used Skyy)
- whole onion rings/big chunks of onion, hell, a whole onion
- any leftover chopped basil
- any leftover anchovy oil
- salt to taste

The marinara should still be simmering a bit. Making this sauce taste great is all about the application. Add the vodka, I usually just eyeball it, so I'm estimating that it's about a half cup. Basically, think of it as about 3 big swigs if you were chugging this stuff. Give it a few minutes to simmer and cook off the alcohol, feel free to add any leftover oil and basil at this point. Here's where you need to actually pay attention: grab the half & half, SLOWLY add to pot while stirring. Add until you achieve a medium orange color, this of course is all preference as well. Take your time with this, you don't want it to curdle because that's just nasty. Drop in whole onion pieces and add salt. Turn heat on medium low and let sit for a few minutes. I typically just forget about it and go ahead cooking the pasta and any other dishes going along with the meal. Feel free to stir it occasionally. A few minutes before you serve, fish out the whole onion pieces and add in the parmesan. (I personally enjoy eating the onion pieces afterwards, they should be thoroughly cooked through and taste like awesome. If they are not cooked through, you haven't let the sauce set for long enough. Epic fail.)

Remember, taste your food throughout the process, especially after adding the vodka. If you don't taste enough of what you need, ADD MORE. Slowly. It's easier to add ingredients than subtract. Also - fresh ingredients always taste better than dry/canned.

We didn't take photos this time. We were a little shitfaced. Here's a few variation suggestions:

For...

CREAMIER, SMOOTHER VODKA SAUCE: Use an emersion blender.

MORE REDNECK-STYLE SAUCE: Add cooked bacon or sausage, including the drippings.

A GREAT PRESENTATION: Top with shredded basil leaves and shaved parmesan.

OVERALL BETTER TASTING SAUCE: Get a little baked beforehand.

LESS ACCIDENTS WHILE COOKING: Move your martini glass/beer bottle/bourbon aside for a while.

Addictive Link of the Day

2010-05-17T16:45:00.003-04:00

Are you a wino? Are you a wino who loves cheese? Are you a wino who loves cheese, musical notes, and sultry voices? Then I highly suggest you get lost in this site. I personally enjoy the suggested food pairings and mystery woman's pronunciation assistance.

Wisconsin Cheese Cupid

FOOD FAIL: Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa Cake

2010-05-17T15:12:00.000-04:00

Just... no.

First Post - Food For Thought

2010-05-17T14:14:00.004-04:00

My entire philosophy on food has changed dramatically within the past 5 years of my life. Up until my freshman year of college, I was prone to plain turkey sandwiches with cheese, burgers with nothing on them, chicken tenders, and the occasional Frosty. My palate was undeveloped, undeserving, and unloved, and I pretty much ate like a six year old. Oregano? Psh. Who the hell likes spicy mustard? And why would anyone ever make a career out of something as boring as food?

Well, I remember that fateful day where my eyes were opened and my palate awoken. I strolled into the buffet style dining hall of my university with a few friends who were a little more adventurous than I. They declared that day, "monster burger day", and decided that they would create a burger so epic, so insanely tasty, that no one could resist its intricately mouth-watering construction, including myself. I laughed. Silly foodies...

Normally, when someone included more than the basics in a dish I would over analyze the ingredients and find it unappealing. Well, this was not to be the case. Utilizing every random food station, including the basic obligatory burger one, my friends piled patty after juicy patty between two buns, and intermittently threw in slices of provolone, american, and swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, salt and pepper, oregano, cooked onions, a slathering of chili, crunchy sweet banana peppers, a splash of vinegar and oil, melted nacho cheese and tortilla chip crumbles, and God knows what else. That burger was the mother of all burgers - and I was going to try it.

I don't remember the exact mechanics of how I managed to fit my whole mouth around that bad boy, but I did. My friends looked on, anticipating a reaction of disgust and waiting to die in laughter, but I just stopped thinking at that point. I didn't care what was on it - there was too much to analyze, too much to decide what was disgusting and what I wouldn't like. I was forced to focus on the simple interweaving of flavors and textures into one bite.

I bit down.
I chewed.
I swallowed.
I smiled.

It was a like a little light bulb went off in my head. Everything was amazing, the melodic harmony of so many different delicious things into one amazing palatable bite made that burger its own category of food. From then on, I couldn't wait to try random combinations of food and flavors, from the basics I had managed to forego (mayo on a sandwich, salad dressings other than ranch, any spicy food) to more advanced flavors and dishes (integrating mascarpone cheese into desserts, butternut squash and pancetta ravioli), or anything I could find to put together that was unusual. As an artist, once I was introduced to the concept of beautiful food presentation and design, I then knew I was hooked for a lifetime. After 5 years of exploring food with an open mind and heart, I am ready to call myself an official foodie.

Who knew burgers could be so influential?

So the posts that will follow will hopefully enlighten you to the ever-entertaining world of food, wine, the art of it all, restaurants I like or despise, occasionally vegan or vegetarian options, etc, and all done so in an unpretentious manner. If I feel like reviewing Subway, I'm going to do it, dammit. Food is food, and if you think you need to spend a fortune at an upscale restaurant to really enjoy it, you're sorely mistaken and doomed to deprive your tongue of the simple yet radiant flavors of life.