Travel Tidbits #3: Death By Meat: A ridiculously unhealthy and painful way to renounce your vegetarianism.

I have dabbled in a variety of dietary life-style choices. In my history of food consumption, my timeline looks like this:



So although I fully support vegetarianism, I still haven't quite figured out how to incorporate it into my daily life without feeling some effects. During college, I embraced it. Around the time I graduated, I incorporated a small amount of fish or chicken into my diet on those days that I just couldn't feel full, or when I was feeling insanely tired. So, when I first obtained this job, I was required to get a few vaccines. I was beginning to think that feeling sleepy about 80% of the day was normal (as it had been for the past few years) when the doctor asked me about my toes. "Have they always been purple?" "Well, yeah, isn't that normal?". Apparently not. Apparently a severe iron deficiency will do that to you, among other things.

Back in August I had a real opportunity to break back into eating red meat (although I have still sworn off pork and refuse to eat it for many ethical, health, and moral reasons unless it's to sample a small bit of food couture). A colleague and I visited an Argentinian steakhouse soon after the new information I had received, and we decided to "go all out". A choice on their menu was the "typical meat platter to share" which we decided upon. The menu made it sound like a nice assortment of not-your-everyday meats on a reasonably-sized plate; something that an average couple of customers could easily finish off while enjoying the variety and flavors of Argentina...



...so they brought this.


Meat Death

This beautiful assortment was a GIGANTIC collection of (what they say) included skirt steak, blood sausage, sweetbreads, chorizo, kidney, milk tripe, and spiked cholesterol levels, enough for the whole restaurant or even a small village.

I forwent the chorizo, I did decide to try all the things I had never tasted before: blood sausage, milk tripe, sweet breads, and kidneys. Vanquishing this bad boy was an adventure. The blood sausage was surprisingly delicious and delicate, rich and dark, and NO, I do not want to know how it's made. The milk tripe was basically a long, curly fried tube that was very tough and difficult to down. It reminded me of a never-ending, uncut robe of calamari but much chewier. The skirt steak was your typical steak, with a great smokey flavor and very tender. The sweetbreads were interesting. Again, I had never had them before so a name like "sweetbreads" can be very misleading. I suppose I expected a subtly sweet (duh), very tender cut of meat with a smooth consistency. While the flavor was nice and indeed mild, it felt like biting into a large chunk of bacon fat breaded and fried with pockets of salmon fat hidden throughout. I'm not sure if I ever even tried the kidneys. Just look at the picture and see if you can figure that mess out.

By the end of the night, I felt like a greasy, weighed-down glutton who had been trapped inside a fried cow and ate her way out. So, for the next 2 weeks, I did not eat meat. I was completely disgusted by meat. My stomach punished me for days. In fact, since this endeavor, I find that if there is a decent selection of vegetarian options where I am at, I gravitate towards that.

But no matter what, I still can't deny the pure bliss of a great med rare filet mignon, and a velvety glass of red to go with it.

Travel Tidbits #2: Pimpin' ain't easy but apparently it sure is sweet.

Traffic. Wilmington, DE.

Apparently my cousin has seen the Frosted Flakes version of this car. Her assumed pimp tagline: "Hoes - They're grrrrrreat!".

Travel Tidbits #1: Never underestimate the extent to which airport security will search you.

Security line. Orlando, FL.

I knew the new regulations were harsh but come on ladies, we should at least be able to keep our panties on...

Blog Re-Vamp

Not only will the occasional food review be posted now, but tips on traveling as well. Please enjoy my newfound entertainment by travel and laziness towards food. Hopefully weight loss will ensue.

Holiday Yummies & Sick Tummies

Fortunately for you, reader, I don't feel like writing much right now... so here is a little photo synopsis of this past Thanksgiving.


"Dried apricot halves with lemon-thyme goat cheese, candied walnuts, and honey garnish"

This is a little recipe I borrowed and altered slightly from a book entitled "Wine & Cheese". I was also endulging in a little too much wine and not enough cheese at the time so I don't remember the author or if that was even the specific title, but it sums up pretty much everything in there that I saw/read/drooled over. These little noms are simple and quick; the only time-consuming efforts here are the tedious tasks of halving the apricots and donning every one with its specific decorations. I also candied and spiced the walnuts myself but apparently you can just buy the damn things. I used turkish apricots, plain ole goat cheese bought from Whole Foods which I then whipped with a little milk and some lemon-thyme from my herb garden (which is somehow thriving in the cold weather), and sauteed the walnuts in sugar, a dash of cayenne pepper, pumpkin spice and a little salt until they were caramalized. Drizzle with honey and you're done.


"Better Than Sex Cake"

A recipe straight from Grundy, VA. 'Nuff said.



"First-time Flan"

A definite win!



And because God answered my prayers to not gain weight over this holiday weekend, I was able to enjoy a Norovirus-style stomach flu the day after Thanksgiving, and watch all of these lovely treats come right back up.

RESTAURANT REVIEW: Union Grill, Pittsburgh, PA

Good lord, I've been at this damn airport since 6:30 AM and I am SO ready to get back home. I've been in beautiful Pittsburgh, PA this week (that picture hardly does it justice, but it's all I could get out of my hotel room) which is known as the city of bridges. This is apparently because there are a TON of them around. There's also a lot of interesting things to do (like go to the zoo, or visit museums), none of which I had time for due to job stuffs but eh, whatever. I also don't feel like typing much do to the fact I'm still sleep-deprived and in what appears to be a travel coma. FYI the architecture around Carnegie Mellon reminded me of London, and you can imagine just how high-pitched my gleeful squeels were when we drove by a branch of Le Cordon Bleu.

As for the food, well, there were 2 places we went that were amazing: Zarra's, and Union Grill. Zarra's was a cute little family-owned Italian/Greek restaurant across the street from our hotel. I had a chicken dish that was nothing spectacular, but their homemade salad dressing was to die for (balsamic vinegarette) and when the mother of the operation "botched" her homemade cheesecake (forgot eggs), we were privy to a taste. It was warm, fresh, right out of the oven homemade cheesecake and it was probably the most delicious thing I've ever put in my mouth. Although its structure was lacking because of its missing ingredient, the flavor was unaffected. Tangy, sweet, savory, with a moist graham crust - I had to stop myself 3 bites in because it was almost too sinful. After that, I took a ride in the owner's sports car in exchange for one of my drawings. I'd say that was a good deal.

Now, Union Grill, an "all American food" place which seems to be populated with mostly tatooed students, was impressionable. After perusing the menu I was inclined to ask our server, "So, this Devonshire Sandwich - what is it?", as it was advertised in the menu as world-famous, has appeared on TV, etc. The server told us it is described as a sandwich, however, it's basically turkey on some bread slathered in their famous cheese sauce. Server's words: "If it wasn't for the fact that it's probably about 3000 calories I'd probably eat it more often." Because I wanted to go a healthier route, I opted for a turkey burger which was tasty but rather dry, and for some reason tasted a little like ham (?). I ordered a baked sweet potato and a side of that cheese sauce, because I couldn't NOT try it!

The cheese sauce came, and yeah, it was amazing. It was a white sauce with a few herbs and chunks of fresh cheese mixed in. Imagine that delicious white cheese dip that you find at Mexican restaurants. Now double the consistancy and add melted chunks of cheese. Oh yeah. What originated as a quest for delicious healthy food ended up with me slathering my burger with it and then obtaining ultimate Fatty status and dipping my sweet potato in it, which was rather good.

Now since I didn't snap a shot, I've taken this one from www.roadfood.com. This is a picture of the actual Turkey Devonshire. After eating this, you probably wouldn't poop for about a week or two:

The "Anti-PMS" Cake

Men, relinquish yourselves from that week of fire and brimstone and suffer the lashings of the crimson tide no more... for tonight, we dine in chocolate heaven!

(Recipe from Recipe Zaar, by Lennie):

CHOCOLATE MASCARPONE BROWNIES

Ingredients
BROWNIES
1 cup unsalted butter
3 ounces best-quality semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup mascarpone cheese, softened
3 large eggs, at room-temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt

GANACHE
6 ounces best-quality semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
6 tablespoons whipping cream
3 tablespoons unsalted butter

Directions
1) Preheat oven to 325°F; have ready a buttered 8-inch square glass cake pan (we sprayed with pam instead of buttering it).
2) First, prepare the brownies.
3) In a small saucepan, melt the butter and bring it to just below a boil; have the chopped chocolate in a mixing bowl--pour the hot butter over the chocolate and let stand for 30 seconds.
4) Stir until chocolate is completely melted.
5) Sift in the sugar and cocoa powder (I didn't sift, I just slowly mixed it in.)
6) With a wooden spoon, beat in the mascarpone, eggs (30 minutes on the counter brings them to room temperature) and vanilla, mixing until smooth.
7) Gently fold the flour and salt into the batter.
8) Pour batter into prepared pan and spread evenly (Lennie mentions, "This is important since, if the batter isn't spread evenly, it won't bake evenly.")
9) Place into preheated oven and bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean (45 minutes did it for me).
10) Place pan on a cooling rack and let brownies cool for 10-15 minutes, while you now make the ganache.
11) Place chopped chocolate in a mixing bowl; in a small saucepan, bring the cream and the butter to just below the boiling point, over medium heat.
12) Pour this hot cream-butter mixture over the chocolate and let stand for 30 seconds, then stir until smooth; ganache is now ready to use and can be spread over the brownies.
13) Should you wish to wait a bit, make sure the ganache is warm when you spread over the brownies, as it does firm up which makes spreading hard to do.
14) Don't cut into the brownies until ganache has firmed up; I find it best to put the brownies into the fridge to speed this along; once the ganache is firm the brownies do not need to be kept in the fridge, though.

---

Now, I have to say, these are pretty tasty. They're rich yet light, with a perfect sugar balance (not too sweet, just sweet enough) and manage to pull off that fudge-like consistency with a more cake-like structure. That being said, they weren't brownies so much as a fudge cake. The flavor was a little bitter, but that's because there's enough chocolate packed into these puppies that you'll be horny for 2 weeks and have a sugar-rush strong enough to keep you tweaking worse than that crackie who lives in the ally. My only true complaint is that for what I paid for the mascarpone cheese, I expected it to be a little more present in the end flavor. I've never used mascarpone before, and if you've never tried it you should. It's kind of like a very mild, delicately sweet cream with a cream cheese consistency. Anyways, I suppose it added to the texture and maybe very slightly to the flavor, however it's an expensive ingredient and I felt that it was out of the spotlight. I'm sure the mascarpone could very easily have been replaced with something else and turned out better, because the biggest disappointment in the cake's flavor was the absence of that beautiful balance of sweet and salty. A better cheese for the job would have filled that necessity.

CONS: Slightly bitter, not necessarily worth the price of the ingredients, lacking in mascarpone as the feature flavor

PROS: Great for natural aphrodisiacal highs, hormonal woman

FOOD WIN: Marmot Eating Biscuit

Reminds me of this guy I dated...

Link of the Day

In light of my recent barbecue post, here's a link to a great site by a master of BBQ so that you may enjoy how truely delicious it can be. I've been perusing his blog for a while and even if you're not out back with something on the grill, his photos will definitely get your mouth watering.

Brian Pearcy's BBQ Blog

FOOD REVIEW: Grandpa Eddie's Alabama Ribs & BBQ, Richmond, VA

I've had the pleasure of meeting the owner of Grandpa Eddie's Alabama Ribs & BBQ, Carey Friedman, a couple of times, and he's a genuinely good guy - which makes it kind of difficult to really speak my mind about his food. However, this is food journalism, and I've never been one to filter my mouth on anything, so here it goes.

I dined at Gpa Eddie's a few months ago and I remember the food being dynamite. I was also pretty shitfaced and shoveling things in my mouth faster than Monica Lewinsky in a room full of politicians (heyooo!). I remember the atmosphere was predominantly family-oriented and the band that night played an excellent cover of Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" (which I have an extreme affinity for). However, when I ordered some to-go the other day for my family's dinner I was curious as to how my fellow food-goers felt about the place and perused some online reviews while waiting. I was shocked to read a bunch of (what I thought at the time) bullshit complaints and basically a lot of one-starred ratings where I was sure, as I assume all the time, people were just being moronic.

Long story short, I ordered a half-pound of pork barbecue, half-pound of beef brisket, and a half-pound of chicken barbecue, with sides of baked beans, cornbread and coleslaw. This was accompanied with a side of their barbecue sauce.

Now, I don't eat red meat, however I will try it for the sake of trying things once... and doing a food review. Lets start with the beef brisket.

All I can say is: Meh. It was unceremoniously bunched up in a styrofoam box with a side of Gpa Eddie's "barbecue" sauce which, I must say, tasted like very spicy marinara sauce. It was also relatively dry. As far as the chicken barbecue goes, it was more like cubed bits of the remainder parts of the chicken, and was swimming in grease. The flavor was unappealing; it was overpowering, soaked in vinegar, salty, too spicy and just all around inedible. I actually stopped eating my sandwich about 2 bites in and I never do that.

The pulled pork was okay in that it wasn't as overbearingly spicy or salty as the rest of the meat, AND it was actually pulled, however this wasn't something I'd call home about. To top it off, the coleslaw was grey. Yeah, grey. Taste-wise it was pretty sweet and was the only thing you could put in your mouth to ease the backfire of what must have been that barbecue's "flavor". As far as the corn muffins go, they were little mini ones that tasted like they had either been sitting out far too long or had just been bought from Food Lion... days ago.

I think the worst was the beans. As soon as I spooned a bite into my mouth I had the distinct taste of metal on my palate. Optimistically, I thought maybe it was my spoon, so I switched utensils. Still metallic. I ate it with bread. Guess what - still metallic.

Overall, everything was bad enough that I will never order from there again. I thought maybe I was getting a sufficient amount of food for the grand total of $27.00, especially since the bartender threw in the cornbread for free, but now that I'm looking at everything I feel like I wasted my money. Seriously.

Now, in order to be a truly understanding and open-minded foodie, I believe one should have perspective on the foods they are consuming in order to properly form an opinion. So, I did a little research. I thought, "Hey, maybe since this is Alabama barbecue I'm just being particular and should appreciate the style that it's made in. Maybe in Alabama, their beans are made from nickel and their chicken is soaked in habaneros." After 30 minutes of staggering research, here's what was concluded:

In the south, different regions are known for their different flavors of barbecue. Barbecue originated in the US on the east coast and as its popularity migrated West, the style of preparation was altered according to the availability of ingredients. In brief:

North Carolina: peppery and vinegar-based (popular with hush puppies, a possible food migrant from the coast)
Western North Carolina: rich, still maintaining the vinegar-base and laden with tomatoes (eaten with bread and Brunswick stew)
South Carolina and Georgia: doused in a yellow mustard-based sauce (in much of South Carolina, barbecue is served alongside light bread, coleslaw, and "hash" with rice... hash is made of stewed organ meats, yum)
Tennessee: sweeter, tomato-based and seasoned with molasses
Arkansas: varying types because it's a border state
Alabama: tomato-based, spicier than Tennessee although still maintaining sweetness (variations include a "white sauce" which is mayonnaise-based, barbecue cooked with pecans, and barbecue simmered in apple cider)

However, please note, much variation does exist within these regions due to establishments' and families' alterations over time.

So in conclusion, I still did not feel like Gpa's matched up with what I would define as "good barbecue". It's almost as if it was trying to be a North Carolinian barbecue with the spice of Alabama, but failed and just had too much going on. I've heard the wings there are alright but I'd just rather go to Bdub's or Quaker Steak and Lube for some guaranteed deliciousness.

CONS: Unsatisfactory, repugnant flavors, poor food quality
PROS: It'll get your bowels moving.